what procedure?

have this abdominal pain on and off since about a year ago. treated the symptoms, ignored the etiology. at last, i had the chance to ask my pcp about it, then confirmed by ultrasound of my belly, i needed a laparoscopic cholecystectomy. a procedure i am familiar with, encountered all the time at work. but the main difference this time is, i will be the one having the procedure. that is the main difference. no biggie, just needed to be done.

not so ordinary night

just got out of the shower, ( i'm a night person, fyi, so i am awake at night and do almost all my chores at night when i'm off) at around 0230am central time, i told nikki to stop playing and she and her friend need to go to sleep at this time of the hour. nevertheless, because a friend is sleeping over at our house and it was a friday night, she decided to still play until....i heard her crying at the top of her voice ( as in really shouting, her uvula vibrating her voice trembling) "mommy! mommy! my hand, my hand! (that's what i thought i heard while changing in the closet). to my surprise, she was bleeding from her forehead. i did not have anything in hand except my towel still wrapped around me, just to stop the bleeding, i then took her head and pushed her bleeding forehead to my towel...then my nervous husband, seeing her daughter bleeding, followed my instructions deligently to get a cloth which i then used to press on nikki's forehead and assessed the laceration. it was about 5cm in length and 3cm deep. thus, we ran to ED and have her laceration stitched up. as i was assessing the laceration, i was thinking i could make an improvised steri-stip, but made my better nursing judgement that my daughter needed stitches on that laceration. we waited for almost 2hrs and a half in ED just for the stitches to be done. anyway, it was a different night for my 9 yr. old....for my husband as well....and for me as a mom.

best friend, true friend

is there any difference at all? I have to say I want to brag about my best true friend. She may not know it, but she had remained in my heart even if we were out of touch for awhile. But we both know that we are still connected to each other. We both know it since we were both in high school. Amongst all the friends I have encountered, there is no other that can be in my best true friend's place. Our friendship can be describe as wine, the older it gets, the better.

simple pleasures

Pleasure, from the anglo-french word PLAISIR, which means please, a state of gratification or a frivolous amusement..Pleasure is a positive sensation. It is commonly conceptualized as somehow opposed to pain, though it has received much less scientific attention. Pleasure can be brought about in different ways, depending on how every individual feels the feeling of pleasure. Some feel this phenomenon through music, sexuality, writing, and any other imaginable activity; even pain.(wikipedia)



My current simple pleasure is my IPOD...30 gig, white.

Dad's simple pleasure is 325i series...black.

What's yours?

BIG break

A break from the routine can be healthy at times, refreshes the mind. Gets you off track, but keeps your senses alive. One phone call out of the ordinary can be a good break from your routine...you know what I mean?

remember that Sleepover?

This was a follow up on the sleepover blog I posted last month. Nikki had a BLAST on the sleepover party she had. She had too many stories to tell me when we picked her up. It was hard to part from her friends when it was time to go home. It is one of a life time experiences she will never forget she said. A happy one. I am glad me and Dad gave her that opportunity.

just like me...

Nikki and Eyen reminded me of Anne and me when we were growing up. However, Anne is more like Nikki and Eyen more like me. Eyen have such a strong personality, which is balanced out by Nikki who is more patient and being a good elder sis, she does not fight back at Eyen. I pity Nikki all the time coz Eyen will just show her stubburn attitude until she gets what she wants.Nikki is less impulsive, she likes to analyze things, likes to mend anything she can.
I was Eyen....Eyen is me.

You're beautiful...by James Blunt

Told me that song is for me.
Heard that song of James Blunt. Remembered it. Liked it. Repeatedly played it. Memorized it. Now, can't get it (you)off my mind.

Eyen and me

Eyen had an in-house baby sitter we call YAYA, was good with Eyen but gets easily tired getting up and down the stairs with Eyen. So, she quit. Eyen and I by ourselves again whenever Nikki and Dad are in school and at work respectively. Not that I don't love it, but I'm afraid to be in deep slumber again and not be able to monitor Eyen's antics. Thus, the wise decision to send Eyen in Pre-school.

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Eyen started pre-k school today. It breaks my heart to depart with my baby but it's best for her. She is safer there than with me alone, when i am asleep. She might do something dangerous that I would really regret, so before all this will happen, I have to slap my face right now.

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When I sleep, I stay in deep sleep at all times. It is good for me but not if I am alone with Eyen. One day I was dreaming that i have this bad toothache, a feeling that something was poking my teeth, I woke up feeling the same thing...because they were...Eyen was poking my teeth with a tooth pick.


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Got home at 0745 and greeted by Eyen's wail, "I'm hungry Mom, I wanna stay here downstairs and eat". Her dad said, "Eyen, you just ate, Mommy just came from work so she needs to take a bath, she might have a lot of germs in her hospital uniform". So, Eyen has to go upstairs with me as Dad and Nikki have to leave for school. On our way upstairs Eyen keeps saying "I'm still hungry Mom, don't you understand?, I'm hungry." Don't mess with Eyen if she's hungry.

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Awakened by Eyen this afternoon with another of her delightful weeee!!! finding the TV screen with her signature sketches using red, green and blue permanent ink markers. When asked what she did, her sheepish reply was "I drew flowers and butterflies on the TV Mom, isn't it pweety Mom? do you like it Mom? ha Mom?". Do you think I have the heart to spank her?

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Before I go to work, I would always do my girly rituals and Eyen always know when to go to my room in time for my make up application. She would then present her face and say "it's my turn for eyeshadow and lipstick Mom".

reality bites

18 years have passed, no goodbye words...just parted ways. Childish acts now became regrets. Pride overpowered everything. Had learned to forget, unknowingly kept in the subconscious. Started anew after mended by another love. The pain of the first love totally forgotten. The memory sometimes creeps in my mind to which I became an expert to shut. The face my heart have etched was faded by pain. Dreams I did not want to entertain kept coming back. Common friends were the alley to the dreams and the memories we once shared started to unfold again. Your faded image becomes vivid once more. Now, this time, it is hard to shut it out, for the truth is, there never was closure. After all those years, discovered that we both just kept the feelings aside. Too late it may seem but fate found its way to confront us with the truth, but this truth we know will not set us free.

It maybe harsh to say it but I am fulfilled for I knew you never gave up on me. You revealed to me that you were just thrown by circumstances to make decisions in your life you were not capable of doing then.

However, amidst all this turmoil, the commitment and the love to my present life overpowers everything. The values I've inculcated in my system keeps me from being astray to the life I live. I am not saddened. I am not regretting. I am not confused. I am strengthened, for the principle I held during the times we parted upholds the meaning of LOVE that we both knew then....I have shared to the man I am most committed.

up one level

Nikki was up another level in KUMON math. She has the talent and the ability, however, she needs the concentration. "She's a 9 year old, for heaven's sake!", says my husband. He said, I am pushing her too hard on both the academic and extra curricular activities. Nikki attends Kumon every Tuesdays and Thursdays, Voice lessons every Wednesday, and Ballet lessons every Friday. Hey! I just want the best for my child. I just want her to develop the sense of responsibility and to inculcate in her mind that it is through perseverance and diligence that one can achieve their goal in life. Through these activities, she would develop her self esteem and her personality. For me, if they are introduced at an early age, it will be engraved in the child's mind. It is how they are molded. It is how they are developed. It is through consistency as well. Am I too harsh?